NY to FL

jaiden1st day of 3rd grade(Jaiden’s 1st day of 3rd grade picture in FL) ^^

“Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed & rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be”

We really just woke up one day and said “let’s move to Florida!” I think there’s a point in everyone’s life where you just get tired of the same old routine.  Even if the routine is working for you, you still need a change.  I believe that’s what happened with Hommy and I.  We had a great apartment in Ridgewood, Queens, we both had super great jobs…we had everything we needed but it was always the same.  When everything is always the same and changes aren’t being made no matter how good things can be going we still tend to crave a change.  For us it was our surroundings.  We had a railroad apartment and yes it was snug but it was home, it was fully renovated so it wasn’t really an old crappy looking apartment, our rent was decent and the neighborhood was great as well.  The parking sucked but hey!, that’s a problem in all of NY.

I spoke to a friend who lived in Florida and of course I did as much research as I could to see if this move would even benefit us.  Everything after that just made sense to move, I visited my friend for 3 days where I got to fill out an application for the apartments where she was living.  I’m huge into “signs” so I told my husband “if we get approved then that’s a sign for us to move and if we don’t then that’s a sign for us to stay in NY.”  Sure enough we got approved! We were so happy! Nervous, but happy!  It was a chance to start new, to start over.  We had plans to buy a house and start a business and we were all for making that big change.  I didn’t tell my family until I actually had the keys to my new apartment.  My parents took it really bad, I didn’t get the reaction I wanted from them, you know the “oh wow great hope everything goes well and we will visit you as much as we can…” but then again their baby daughter was moving with their grandson to a different state so why would they say that? why would they be happy? But still we were determined to move and we did, I would say in less than 2 months from us getting the keys we were driving to Florida with a trailer in the back full of our stuff.

I’d like to say we left NY “cold turkey“.  We packed and we left. We left our families, our little apartment, our city….we left everything.  I literally cried almost the whole way to Florida.. the thought of leaving my parents and my siblings and my nieces and nephews really hit me while we were driving.  Although my family and I don’t always see eye to eye it still hurt to know that I was no longer 15 mins away from them.  Sometimes we tend to take advantage of certain things when we know they’ll always be there.  And it truly sucks when something like this has to happen in order for us to realize that.  But that’s part of life I guess.  The drive was extra long since we were pulling a trailer behind us and I remember us getting to the apartment at 3am.  We were dead tired! The apartment was empty, we had nothing.  I had Jaiden’s little twin mattress in the trailer and like 2 or 3 blankets and 1 pillow, and I remember that’s where we all slept on the floor in the new apartment. (I have a picture to prove it but Hommy wouldn’t let me post it haha)  Jaiden and I slept on the mattress and Hommy on the floor until the sun came up and we switched.

In the beginning it was ok, our minds were occupied with furnishing the apartment so we really didn’t have time to really think about how lonely we were about to become.  That all sunk in later… After we were settled in my anxiety attacks came back in full swing and I cried a lot.  My biggest concern was Jaiden.  I was worried about him starting a new school, I thought he wouldn’t transition well and his grades would go down but to my surprise he was fine. He made friends quickly and he was always outside playing with kids which is something he wasn’t able to do in NY.  Hommy was still working in both NY and FL so he left a couple of times to NY.  Since Jaiden was in school we couldn’t go with him and that’s when I really went crazy. I REALLY WENT CRAZY, I would call my mom screaming and crying to the point where they would offer me a plane ticket so that I could go back.  It wasn’t that I didn’t like where I was at it was just that I felt alone. I took everyone’s “aloneness” and attached it on to mine.  My dad was no longer able to pick me up and take me to get food, I couldn’t just drive to my mom’s house and have dinner…All these things that I was so used to were no longer available to me.  Everything in FL is far, it’s not like in NY where there’s a BODEGA (corner store) on every corner. We ended up taking trips to NY every chance we got.  In less than a year I would say we went to NY over 4 times and my husband maybe 6 times.  I eventually put my big girl panties on and decided that if we really wanted it to work for us in FL we would have to stop running to NY every chance we got.  We would have to stop comparing our FL life to our old NY life.  Our NY life no longer existed.  And that’s what we did.  And I must say that everything is going very well for us in FL.  I don’t know if we will ever have the urge to move back to NY or if we will ever move back but for now Florida is our home even though our hearts will always be in New York.

xotaii

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7 Comments

  1. Tania Wania
    March 4, 2016 / 12:50 am

    Ahh. I went through that when I moved to California. I feel yah girl. I’m glad you’re adjusting. Hopefully the good days outweigh the bad days and your new baby girl will help with the loneliness ! You still got a friend in me if you ever want to talk about being homesick but not tell your family. TRUST ME I understand. I been away New York since I was 18. Twelve , long , years ….. Hang in there kiddo! You got this 😉

    • mostthingsmom
      March 4, 2016 / 2:20 am

      thanks so much! I really appreciate it! moving can be tough, let alone to a whole different state.

  2. Jezzi
    April 29, 2016 / 12:24 am

    I know that feeling oh too well. I did it twice. It’s funny I was so fixed on moving back to Florida Last year. I made arrangements with schools, got pre approved for a apartment, went job searching for us both faxed our resumees and gotten feed back… . During my vacation, one of the reasons for the vacation was to convince Pito it was a great idea. He was never fond of it. He was so negative and didn’t see it possible. To him he wouldn’t find a well paying job that matched his pay and he worked so hard for his pay that the thought of going back down killed him, his pride wouldn’t accept it. I was so determined and set on going with or with out him. To my surprise the vacation changed my mind. I guess I was fixed because I thought of all the positives of FL living and didn’t stop to thing of the negative and during that stay reality sunk in. After 4 days 5 days of vacay. I was literally dying to go home. In my case I knew Florida I was familiar with it all so I didn’t have the wow experience. I never realized how much I love NY until that moment. I resented NY so much until that time. I miss the heat and summer sun. I miss the Beauty and luxury cheap living in comparison to NY. But I don’t miss the driving and complications of getting where I need to go. I don’t miss the people and lack of fashion sense. I didn’t stop to thing living is cheap but well paying jobs weren’t easy to find. Gas is an essential constant thing because you have to drive every where even to the supermarket. Tolls are everywhere. Everything is far. Nothing is convenient. The people there (where I lived) sucked. Jobs sucked. Rain sucked. Not to mention every time we wanted to go out and do things, fun things. Everything is so expensive. Disney Legoland Universal Islands of adventure ect Go karting it’s like wth. Most importantly I was very alone there. All I had was my best friend and to top it the thought of dealing with my Sperm donor sickened me. So for all those reasons I missed NY. Appreciated it with all its dirtiness and good booger filled boroughs, shitty apartments, and sucky weather lol with all that I still missed it.

    • mostthingsmom
      April 29, 2016 / 11:05 am

      I hear ya! We miss the heck out of NY but I’m glad we are happy here as well. The way we see it is that no matter where you live you end up doing the same thing like work and go home and hang with your fam on the weekends. A lot of people tend to think people from NY move to Florida because it’s so called cheaper but I feel it’s the same. In NY you can get a job that pays you very well but the rent is super high, in Florida the jobs don’t pay as much but because the rent isn’t as high. So in that sense it’s the same basically. Every theme park you go to in NY you have to pay just like in Florida and there are free places to go to in both states. the only thing that really changes is transportation and weather really. But I mean change is huge and I’m thankful we tried it out and it’s working so far. you have a past in Florida so I get why you wouldn’t move, with us we just starting fresh so I guess it works. Pito has so much family in NY that he’s in constant contact with so I’m sure he doesn’t wanna leave. hommy and I were always to ourselves so that was a plus you know. ?

  3. Jezzi
    April 29, 2016 / 12:32 am

    The difference is you have a fresh start. You know no one before living there. Your husband was willing to try and worked what ever he had to work to make the transition work. Pito was stubborn, wouldn’t compromise for nothing. To make the decision more complicated I had a lot of history there I wasn’t ready to face. So the thought of being there with out him and dealing with my past wasn’t a pleasant convincing thought for me. You guys look great happy and if the move works for you and you are happier and so is your family. You made the right choice. Only you know what’s best your you guys. Some times change is needed.

  4. Amanda R
    October 22, 2016 / 9:02 am

    I love this so much!! So happy you’re adjusting and happy in FL. I’ve lived in Orlando for 14 years and I am dying to get out!! I’m ready for country life! lol I hope to just pick up and leave one day.

    • mostthingsmom
      November 28, 2016 / 8:28 am

      lol who woulda thought a city girl like me would adapt to the country life? now you’d have to drag me out to leave! haha! I love Orlando though!

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